A Day at the

That fine gentleman on the left is Bolt Upright, of the The Bold and Stupid Men, who promise "lessons in gentlemanly behavior" amidst a flurry of daring sword play and a rollicking war of wits, never failing to win the affections of unsuspecting ladies in the audience. One of those ladies was the lady on the right, my daughter Kathleen (17). We got a picture of the two of them together after the show, and he kissed her hand. She was giggling for the next THREE HOURS.

"OMG He kissed my hand!"

That is the reason you go to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire, open Saturdays & Sundays 10:00 AM - 7:00 PM April 5 thru May 18 out in Irwindale, California. You don't go for the Jousts, or for the Entertainment, or the food. You go for the little things, like your daughter having her hand kissed by a Genuine Renaissance Man.

If you are going to the Faire, make sure and order your tickets online. There is a 16% discount if you order the tickets online versus buying the tickets at the gate. It's too late for this year, but there is a greater discount if you order the tickets before opening weekend. They were having a three for two special and I was able to get tickets for myself, my daughter and son for the price of two adults.

The Faire is located in eastern Los Angeles County at the Santa Fe Dam Recreation Area. It was relocated here in 2005, moving from its long-established location at Glen Helen Regional Park (home of the Hyundai Pavilion) in Devore, California. (Personal note: My first marriage was here in 1990) Prior to that it was located on the Paramount Ranch in Agoura, California from 1966 to 1988.

Parking is in a field across from the Faire. There will probably be a line of cars if you get there around the time the Faire opens, but the line moves quickly as volunteers line you up in the field. You will see water trucks watering down the field as you park your car. Presumably it's to keep the wind from blowing up too much dust. Warning: If you are wearing scandals, your feet will get VERY dirty during the day, as I found out. Also be aware it can get quite hot out there in Irwindale. And dusty. Drink lots of liquids.

The fun started almost as soon as we locked up the car. In the picture on the left you can see my son James, myself, and my friend Mark. (He came in a separate car). As you are walking towards the Faire you will see people near their cars adjusting their costumes or changing. We happened to walk into a scuzzy pirate and got his picture (right).

When you enter the Faire it looks small. There are shops and whatnot along the corridor of the Faire, and it's then you you realize you are in one long winding corridor that switches back and forth like a Lombard Street in San Francisco, except it's not on the 40 degree slope of Russian Hill. You may be looking thru a candle maker's wares and hear the drums of a Danse Macabre parade come by. When you look behind you there's no parade there. It's in the next corridor. But don't worry; the parade is usually working its way towards you (left).

When you first enter you encounter one of the numerous guilds of the Faire, the The Guild of St. Ives. These Guilds are performance groups portraying various facets of Elizabethan life. You can join or audition for that Guild or Troupe just like any other production or play. Some of the other Guilds are the Guild of St. Andrews, Guild of St. Michael, and those favorites, The Puritans. I say favorite because one of them swatted my butt as I walked past. They don't practice what they preach, apparently.

There is only one place to rent costumes for the Faire. You will see other shops for costumes, such as Pendragon Costumes, ,Tickle Thy Fantasy, and Steven Overstreet Clothing, but those costumes you have to buy. A side note: I have found that the attractivness of the woman is directly inversely proportional to how made up they are in costume. The more elaborate the outfit, the more unattractive the woman. Except for leather outfits. Those gals are almost always hot, especially the ones who like to dress in red and black.

They have shops for stained glass, jewelry, more jewelry, leather, and ceramics. Eventually the corridor opens up into one of the open areas and you are in essentially a Renaissance Food Court. You can find everything from Turkey legs to Italian to African faire here. I went directly to the Shepherd's Pye/Bangers booth, because I just love Shepherd's Pye. (Side note: You think they spell π = py?) Important! Make sure you get the Mango Lassi at the Shepherd's Pye/Bangers booth. It's one of the reasons my daughter came to the Faire in the first place. That, and to look at a few hot guys.

Speaking of hot guys, I have seen these two every year for the past three years I have gone to the Faire. They are the The Bold and Stupid Men AKA Jeff McLane as Bolt Upright and Mike Mahaffey as Gianni Vespa. As I said above, they promise "lessons in gentlemanly behavior" and do quite well. I talked to Bolt/Jeff afterwards and found out this is their last year performing at the Renaissance Faire. They are moving on to DVDs and TV and stuff, so go and make sure to see their show this season before it's gone. Gianni Vespa looked a little different this year and I asked Bolt if it was a different Gianni. No, same guy he said. Something was different tho, and it wasn't my Alzheimer's kicking in. I managed to find last year's(2007) picture of the two of them, and sure enough Gianni lost some weight. So I'm not totally insane. Much. BTW, Jeff Mclane has his own website AND even has his own Myspace page

There are other shows of course, such as Adam Crack-Whip Master, Merry Misfits of Doom, The Washing Well Wenches, Sound and Fury, as well as some NC-17 groups such as Poxy Boggards. I should mention one act which literally pulled me into the show. MooNiE the Magnif'Cent is described as The Mischievous Master of movement and surprise presents a laugh-filled show of comedy, juggling, and rope walking, while uttering nary a word. We were walking by the show and stopped to see if he would set himself on fire or not. He stopped the show, walked off the stage, came up to me and took my sunglasses while I was standing there and took them to an empty seat in the audience where he motioned for me to sit. Since they were $150 sunglasses, I sat down and he gently put my sunglasses back on and went right back into his show.

At the far end of the Faire, there is a small stadium and field where they do the jousts, performed by the Hanlon-Lees Action Theater (H-LAT). The first show we saw was the Queen's Royal Joust, which starts off with a festive atmosphere as the Queen and her court arrive in all their gallantry, and there is a gun salute and all that. Hoo Ha. We happened upon some of the knights later in the day and found out they were non-union. Just FYI.

At the Queen's Royal Joust, you get to see the results of the small children's training. You can drop them off at the Guild of St. Michael before 1:00 PM and your kids can train and march with the Queen's military and even join the show at the Queen's Royal Joust. It's a glorified baby sitting service. My son was entertaining the idea of joining them until I pointed out how old the kids were. In the left you can see the little runts just left of center as they display their wares. In the right you can see the riot when they charge the army.

The Queen's Royal Joust is actually in two parts. The first part is where basically there's one bad guy (who looks like a lot like Sting) among the knights, and a fight breaks out and the challenge goes out for a Joust to the Death, which is the 4:30pm show. The funny part is that for the past two years, we've seen the Joust to the Death but missed the first part. We were wondering why one of the knights is injured at the start of the second joust, and it's only this year we saw the Queen's Royal Joust and found out why. If you don't want to be confused for the rest of the day, see both parts.

This is a picture of the Queen's procession winding its way thru the Faire. I read somewhere that this year they selected a younger Queen than they had previously. As I was looking at Queen Elizabeth I couldn't help wondering if they had a Jewish American Princess for a Queen.

All in all a fun time. You really cannot take in all the shows and shops in one day. If you want to see everything you have to go back several times.

The 2008 The Original Renaissance Faire is open ** April 5 - May 18 **
Saturdays & Sundays 10:00 AM - 7:00 PM
15501 E. Arrow Hwy · Irwindale · Southern California
(ALL Dates and details are subject to change.)